Dreamwalkers:

Prologue

Andie sat on the ledge of a disorderly skyscraper. Its components were sleek and professional, but arranged in an inconsistent and unstable pattern. Taken as a whole, the structure felt as though it had grown tired of holding itself up, of maintaining the delicate balance between its four asymmetrical sides. It wanted to fall and rest in a pile of rubble, but held out just a little longer – waiting for a breeze to knock it over, and take the blame out of its own metaphorical hands. Yet, the breeze didn’t come. The air remained still and ethereal, just as it always had been, and always would be.
Andie glanced downward, peering at the busy streets below her dangling feet. They were laid out in a cold, efficient, uncaring grid pattern and swarmed with faceless humanoids dressed in business suits. Packed between the roads, were the bases of the many skyscrapers. Most of them were actively selling stationary or other practical goods, but there were a few worn down and rotting shops that were cloaked in a myriad of faded pastel colors. It wasn’t quite clear what they used to sell, but they gave off the feeling of a childhood long abandoned.
Andie’s eyes drifted upward, tracing the streets as they curved into the walls that surrounded her, and then again into the ceiling above her – forming a giant sphere. It was like someone had taken a city and wrapped it around a dying sky. A dying sky that smelled of mushrooms and exhaust. Granted, the scent was quite faint, but that almost made it worse. The way it quietly lingered, just unpleasant enough that you couldn’t ignore it… It was maddening.
An unnatural roar echoed from behind Andie, reverberating throughout the spherical city. “…Took it long enough.” Andie let herself slide off the edge of the building, rotating to face the ground as she fell. It only took a couple dozen feet for gravity to make a sharp turn and pull her toward the side of the building, dragging her to a skidding halt on the brick wall. “Man, falling through gravity bubbles will never stop being awesome. Right, Dyllan?” No response. He must have already taken his position.
A giant clawed hand grabbed the top of the building, shadowy ooze dripping off its bony fingers as they dug into the ledge Andie had left seconds before. Slowly, the hand pulled, dragging the rest of the monster’s body forward into Andie’s view. Its face was pitch black. Its whole body leaked liquid darkness. Its hair was oily black. Even its eyes, lips, and teeth were pure black. It was human in shape, and for some inscrutable reason it wore a clean women’s business suit, and tied its hair in a very professional looking bun. “Wow. You are somehow even uglier than I remembered.” Andie reached over toward a bronze longsword – her bronze longsword – stuck an inch deep in the wall next to her. It was warm to the touch, and the grip felt like it was made specifically to fit her hands – which it sort of was. “Alrighty then.” The brick the sword was lodged in glowed lightly with an orange heat, softening just enough for Andie to yank her blade free and point it at the monster in front of her. “Let’s get this over with.”

 

A note from the author ninja:

Dreamwalkers. An existential horror style world, with Saturday morning cartoon style protagonists.

…..

The eldritch abominations don’t stand a chance.

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Comments

  1. Good job. This prologue, concisely, gives readers a perspective of the world and what to expect from the story. Introduces two of the main characters, that there is some kind of magic in this world, and an exciting crisis involving some kind of monster made of shadow and darkness. Personally, my favorite part of the prologue was the detail about darkness dripping from finger tips and other points on this monster. I like to imagine that these drops of shadow essence coalesce on the ground and seep fog like darkness, or perhaps smog, into the local area.

    [Redacted], your Cousin! ([Redacted] is my uncle).

    1. Thank you for the feedback! It’s always nice to hear what people think I did right and what I did wrong, since it lets me know what to fix, and what to add more of.
      PS: I’m trying to keep mentions of my personal life/familial relations off this website as much as possible. (I’m a bit of a privacy freak like that.) So I took the liberty of redacting names. Sorry about that.

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